As the child of a narcissist, you may feel like you’ve spent a lifetime trying to understand how your parent feels. You may have learned to tilt your world to track them as though they are the satellite and you need their signal to survive.
However, your “survival” depended upon their satisfaction with you. When you track (in other words, feed their ideal self) to their satisfaction, you might be rewarded with a compliment, a gift, or the slightest feeling that maybe, just maybe, you two were starting to connect.
Then again, maybe you weren’t rewarded. Even though you thought you were tracking the right satellite, it’s possible that your parent threw away that particular satellite (in other words, persona) without telling you. Turns out, you were reading the wrong the signal the entire time. And sadly, you were probably the one who felt a bit foolish.
Adapted from When Your Parent Is A Narcissist