Some Ways the Narcissist Parent Parents

From the narcissistic parent’s point of view, the child is a vehicle to temper their own intense fears. This can manifest in the following ways:

Withholding: The narcissist parent may withhold communication, love, and attention

Blaming: Going on the offensive by publicly telling everyone (sometimes telling you, sometimes not) how wrong you are and how all the problems are your fault.

Lying: To himself and to you about just about anything.

Projecting: Claiming they do not understand why you are behaving this way or that way, when in fact you are not behaving in such a manner―but they are.

False/faux apologizing: The words sound so sincere, too, and so do the tears and the declarations of love. But then come the subtle clues: the self-focus, the self-pity, the tiny joke about: “Sorry, I don’t mean to keep bringing it back to me!” or the not-so-subtle joke: “Didn’t you know―it’s always all about me!”

Shaming: The parent may try to make the child feel less than for not wanting what they want. They might put a judgment on it―the child is low class, ignorant, an embarrassment to the family.

From When Your Parent Is a Narcissist