Obsessing is related to my trying to control something that is out of my control. It is how I unconsciously avoid addressing something. I can take this as a sign that I’m avoiding looking at the real problem.
Obsessions are distractions that keep me from feeling the sadness or the anger that’s inside me. While some of these emotions are related to the relationship with the narcissist, they are also connected to buried feelings from the past that, once addressed, can be healed and let go.
Adapted from Surviving the Narcissist: 30 Days of Recovery