My books have helped thousands to step back, and away, from the damaging effects of a narcissistic person, whether it’s a present-day relationship or one that has haunted them from the past. Now, they may help you, too.

Narcissist ruining your life?

Maybe you love one. Or work for one. Maybe you’re related to one. Or were raised by one. Whatever the relationship, you’ve likely been hurt by the narcissist in your life.

In an article on Forbes.com, contributor Stephanie Sarkis explains how to properly identify and handle a gaslighting, narcissistic boss. Sarkis writes:

“A gaslighting/narcissist boss isn’t just ignorant—he lives for getting power and control over others. There is nothing better to a gaslighter/narcissist than to make you feel dependent on them for your job, while at the same time he sabotages and insults you.  Gaslighters/narcissists can be covert or overt.  Overt gaslighters/narcissists will embarrass you in front of others, treat you terribly in front of office guests, and brag about their accomplishments. Covert gaslighters/narcissists use sneakier methods to exert their power…”

Read the article here

An interesting article featured on Thrive Global examines the similarities and differences between narcissism and egocentrism. Elisabetta Franzoso writes:

“As egocentrics, we are unable to see someone else’s point of view and in narcissism we may see it, but just not care…we can begin to see how the two character traits do not marry well and create a very dysfunctional personality.”

Read “Is Narcissism the Same as Egocentrism?” here

“For the narcissist, true union is much too frightening…joining represents loss of self. The narcissistic person, rather, will annihilate the other in order to “live.” Now add a child to the dynamic. We see the potential for the narcissistic person to grow increasingly jealous, envious, and enraged as their child threatens to transfer the affection and admiration they crave to others (a spouse, or a child, for example)….The parent may act out and find new ways to be noticed.”

Adapted from When Your Parent Is a Narcissist

In a post featured on Psychology Today, Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT writes about covert narcissism. Lancer explains:

“On the surface, they can be hard to identify. These narcissists may appear shy, humble, or anxious. Their gratification may be indirect through their emotional investment in someone they admire. They take things personally and feel distrustful, mistreated, unappreciated, and misunderstood. Although they devalue themselves, they dream of greatness and wonder why people don’t appreciate and understand them.”

Read “All You Should Know about a Covert Narcissist” here

“Today I understand that my feelings about the narcissist and about myself need not interfere with my recovery. I recognize that recovery is about slowly gaining perspective and insight about myself to better heal and grow…I understand that recovery is not a race to finish. Recovery is another name for healing, growing, changing, and, perhaps, rediscovering…me.”

From Surviving the Narcissist: 30 Days of Recovery

Think of a motion picture projector, how it projects a picture out there, on the wall. For the narcissist, other people are the walls and they are the projector. Bad feelings are relegated to the other person (“Why are you always in a foul mood?” “Why do you always have to have your way?” “You are so sensitive but you never hear me.”) 

Adapted from NARCISSISM: SURVIVING THE SELF-INVOLVED

In an article featured on Insider.com, Lindsay Dodgson explains the difference between healthy and toxic anger. The article quotes psychologist Perpetua Neo who says:

“When anger is a constant and disruptive part of your life, though, that’s when it’s not so useful. In relationships, it’s normal to argue. But if you’re consistently raging at each other over the smallest issues, it’s likely because something isn’t being addressed…”

Read the article here

“Inferiority is an issue for an individual with narcissism. This often includes feeling inferior to one’s offspring. If a parent struggles with their own sense of worth, this can be passed on to their child. In other words, the child acts less than the parent so that the parent can be greater than the child.”

Adapted from When Your Parent Is a Narcissist

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