News & Reflections

Images take a lot of crafting and require a ton of upkeep. Since the narcissist’s image is external, it requires the “help” of others. Kids don’t typically understand this, particularly when it comes to their own parents. When people talk about narcissists feeding off of other people, this is the “help” we are talking about. [...]

In an article from The New York Times, Susan Shain offers science-backed ways to become more optimistic. Shain quotes author and psychologist Martin Seligman, explaining: “Another evidence-based approach to boost your optimism is to intentionally counteract your extremely negative predictions with extremely positive ones…Let’s say you have a doozy of a fight with your partner. [...]

“The issue of independence gains complexity with a narcissist parent because the personality matrix is built on a massive internal wound. Denial of this wound has further thwarted, contorted, and warped the narcissist’s growth. The goal is always the same: to not see or acknowledge its existence. Therefore a real attachment with the child remains [...]

The “smoke-and-mirrors” aspect of narcissism can make it tough to pin down. But once I begin to understand and see the nuances, I feel my own healing take hold. Healing is not always what I expect. Sometimes it feels revitalizing, other times it seems to bring more hurt. If I surrender to the process I [...]

Every desirable feeling one experiences with or because of the narcissist is invisibly bound to one far less desirable feeling—its polar opposite. Months spent feeling wanted and special will invariably deteriorate into feeling discarded, abandoned, ostracized — the polar opposite of the warm, fuzzy, too-good-to-be-true love you thought you had. Adapted from NARCISSISM: SURVIVING THE [...]

In an article from The New York Times, Geoffrey Morrison explains how social media can be used positively, offering ways to best navigate Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Morrison writes: …I post a lot of stories on my Instagram about where I am and what I’m doing. It’s public, but it’s also for my friends. I [...]

Sometimes the littlest things I said or did—all having to do with caring for myself—set the narcissist off. Whenever it had to do with me focusing on myself, the narcissist got a little colder, a little more hostile. I understand, today, that this was the narcissist’s reaction to a perceived abandonment—by me.Part of my self-care [...]

A study from Virginia Commonwealth University explains how different situations impact mindfulness. Ravi S. Kudesia, Ph.D., assistant professor at the Temple University Fox School of Business says: “Mindfulness is often assumed to be something that people bring with them into situations, some stable psychological property that is inherent…If we instead see mindfulness as arising from [...]

Similar to their young child, the narcissistic parent references their own self in conjunction with someone else. The difference between a narcissist and a developing child, however, is that the child will eventually master this stage of self-identity. People are resilient, and even with a parent who is a narcissist, they will grow and develop [...]

Obsessing is related to my trying to control something that is out of my control. It is how I unconsciously avoid addressing something. I can take this as a sign that I’m avoiding looking at the real problem. Obsessions are distractions that keep me from feeling the sadness or the anger that’s inside me. While [...]

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