News & Reflections

“Narcissistic parents experience the child as an extension of themselves. Children of narcissistic parents will experience themselves as extensions of their parents, and, like their parents, will not understand the dynamic in play. If you are an extension of another person, is it possible to fully experience self-will?” From When Your Parent Is a Narcissist

In an article on NBC News, Danielle Page explores harmful relationship patterns such as ghosting and gaslighting. Page writes that naming and identifying the behaviors are the first steps to moving on. Page quotes Dr. Christine Selby, Ph.D. who says: “‘…knowing there is a name for the behavior means that there were many others who [...]

Learning to listen to myself makes me better able to see that there are good, strong, valuable things about me that the narcissist claimed for himself or herself. Only a wounded person—the narcissist—would be able to claim what was mine without caring how it would hurt me. My deeper self is is always accessible to [...]

Bianca Vivion Brooks explains her decision to quit social media. In the piece featured in the New York Times, Brooks writes: Though I thought disappearing from social media would be as simple as logging off, my refusal to post anything caused a bit of a stir among my small but loyal following. I began to [...]

Denial can be a kind of protective shock absorber, a part of the grieving process when something important ends. When the qualities of denial overextend, when I inadvertently label it “hope” or call it “trying harder to make things work”, I masquerade my attempts because I’ve not been ready to make a change. Even though [...]

Hold off on confronting the narcissist until you understand why you’re doing it, and what you expect from the confrontation. Confrontation can put the n into attack mode. The more aware you become, the better you will be about making an informed decision. Adapted from Narcissism: Surviving the Self-Involved

“From the narcissistic parent’s point of view, the child is a vehicle to temper their own intense fears.  The parent unconsciously turns to the child to fill the dark and cavernous hole inside. This dark hole, the bottomlessness of it, frightens the narcissist parent and eventually the child. Tethered to the dynamic, however, the child [...]

In a blog post on Psychology Today, Preston Ni M.S.B.A. describes the difference between pathological narcissism and narcissistic behaviors. Ni writes: “What distinguishes certain narcissistic behavior from pathological narcissism are frequency, intensity, and duration. While some people may exhibit narcissistic traits occasionally and mildly, a pathological narcissist will routinely use destructive narcissistic tactics in order to gain false [...]

One of the more challenging things to do is to cultivate compassion for the narcissist. Substituting the word acceptance for compassion can be of great help. Be willing to try this. The beauty of compassion and acceptance is this: it neutralizes the attachment you feel to the n, to the pain and the hurt of [...]

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