News & Reflections

The “smoke-and-mirrors” aspect of narcissism can make it tough to pin down. But once I begin to understand and see the nuances, I feel my own healing take hold. Healing is not always what I expect. Sometimes it feels revitalizing, other times it seems to bring more hurt. If I surrender to the process I [...]

Every desirable feeling one experiences with or because of the narcissist is invisibly bound to one far less desirable feeling—its polar opposite. Months spent feeling wanted and special will invariably deteriorate into feeling discarded, abandoned, ostracized — the polar opposite of the warm, fuzzy, too-good-to-be-true love you thought you had. Adapted from NARCISSISM: SURVIVING THE [...]

In an article from The New York Times, Geoffrey Morrison explains how social media can be used positively, offering ways to best navigate Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Morrison writes: …I post a lot of stories on my Instagram about where I am and what I’m doing. It’s public, but it’s also for my friends. I [...]

Sometimes the littlest things I said or did—all having to do with caring for myself—set the narcissist off. Whenever it had to do with me focusing on myself, the narcissist got a little colder, a little more hostile. I understand, today, that this was the narcissist’s reaction to a perceived abandonment—by me.Part of my self-care [...]

A study from Virginia Commonwealth University explains how different situations impact mindfulness. Ravi S. Kudesia, Ph.D., assistant professor at the Temple University Fox School of Business says: “Mindfulness is often assumed to be something that people bring with them into situations, some stable psychological property that is inherent…If we instead see mindfulness as arising from [...]

Similar to their young child, the narcissistic parent references their own self in conjunction with someone else. The difference between a narcissist and a developing child, however, is that the child will eventually master this stage of self-identity. People are resilient, and even with a parent who is a narcissist, they will grow and develop [...]

Obsessing is related to my trying to control something that is out of my control. It is how I unconsciously avoid addressing something. I can take this as a sign that I’m avoiding looking at the real problem. Obsessions are distractions that keep me from feeling the sadness or the anger that’s inside me. While [...]

In a blog post from Harvard Health, Faculty Editor Claire McCarthy, MD offers an interesting look at how shaming children can impact their lives. She explains the differences between criticizing and shaming: “Criticizing a child in public may be important, especially if they have been rude or hurtful to someone, or done something that could [...]

You may feel like you’ve spent a lifetime trying to understand how your narcissistic parent feels. You may have learned to tilt your world to track them as though they are the satellite and you need their signal to survive. When you feed their ideal self to their satisfaction, you might be rewarded with a [...]

Nicole Spector explains what self-awareness entails and how we can better cultivate it. Spector quotes psychologist and author John Duffy who says: “In effect, self-awareness is the recognition of one’s own emotional state at any given point in time…we are, far too often, wholly unaware of the emotional state we are currently in, and the [...]

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