Wounds inflicted by the narcissistic parent manifest in many ways

As I prepare my third ebook: The Narcissist Parent: Sanity and Survival for Self-Care This compelling essay from the New York Times Opinionator/Couch column, written by psychotherapist Orna Shachar, caught my eye. The author does an incredible job of capturing one of the ways the narcissistic parent affects the child and how the child, now adult, “is” out in the world. In this case, how he is with his therapist. Of course, the case of “Daniel” is not everyone’s experience who grows up with a narcissistic parent, but the author does such pitch perfect job of describing the loneliness and fear:

I think to myself that this hate is his essence. It keeps him alive, intact. Without this hate he is impotent and dead.

…and later, this:

I do not typically read comments, but I found myself reading these. Several people asked if the piece was fiction; others found it amusing. More were baffled, like this dynamic couldn’t possibly be real.

If you’ve been deeply affected by a narcissist you know it can play out this way. Likewise, you also know that the wounds manifest differently, too:  where you are the one who is the object of the hate but instead of internalizing and lashing/acting out (like Daniel), you only internalize.

Yes, the wound is there. But so is the potential to heal.