Focusing on your narcissistic parent might be like a default setting in your brain—you always return to the same place. This is how you’ve been trained by the narcissistic parent to elevate them. By elevating and asking for them to absolve you, for example, you’ve essentially given your power to them.
The healthier, nontoxic way of being in a relationship would be for you to figure things out based on internal cues from inside you. You may see that what you are feeling bad about having done or said is not actually something you did or say, but rather something that the narcissist did or said. The convoluted dynamic would be complete when you apologize for it.
Adapted from When Your Parent Is a Narcissist