When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to recognize the difference between power and control.
“I have lived in an illusion that I could control the outcome of the relationship, that if I wanted something bad enough in a relationship I valued, I should be able to make it work. While I do have power, I only have power over my own behavior, not the narcissist’s. It is not my place to try to elicit a certain response from the narcissist. When I try to do this, I am trying to control.”
Adapted from Surviving the Narcissist: 30 Days of Recovery