News & Reflections

At any age, the parent-child relationship can be fraught with emotion. We all grow up, but when it comes to certain patterns with a parent, it can be hard to let go even when we say we want to—or need to. Whether you hate or love your parent, the fact is these original relationships are [...]

As the child of a narcissist, you may feel like you’ve spent a lifetime trying to understand how your parent feels. You may have learned to tilt your world to track them as though they are the satellite and you need their signal to survive. However, your “survival” depended upon their satisfaction with you. When [...]

To get attention, a narcissistic parent might say: ⎯ No one loves me. ⎯ I’ll always be alone. ⎯ You disappoint me. ⎯ I’m so alone. ⎯ No one appreciates me. ⎯ You don’t appreciate me. ⎯ You’re so greedy. You take everything for you. What about me? ⎯ This is not the life I [...]

In a project at Arizona State University, researchers analyzed data and conducted studies determining how parent-child and caregiver relationships and attachment styles impact a child’s self-regulation skills. Kimberlee D’Ardenne quotes Nancy Eisenberg, Regents’ Professor of psychology who says: “Although differences in children’s self-regulation are partially due to biological factors, including genetics, the environment also plays a big [...]

“If you are the child of a narcissist, you may have grown accustomed to a parasitic relationship. A toxic parent-child dynamic creates a blueprint from which you unconsciously build other relationships… Once you understand how you replay these patterns, you can begin to reexamine your self-view, and change it. This is a key to healing.” Adapted from When [...]

In a post on Psychology Today titled “Why Do Narcissists Need to Outdo Everyone Else?” Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D. cites new research explaining the differences between high self-esteem, the need to be liked by others, and true narcissism. “In distinguishing between self-esteem and narcissism…researchers note that both refer to a form of self-regard. Self-esteem is defined as [...]

The parent-child relationship is inherently rich with emotion, but when the parent is a narcissist the child is often fraught with confusion and filled with inexplicable desperation as the parent says: “What is wrong with you?”   This is one of the reasons the child of a narcissist slips into anxiety quicker than anger. Becoming [...]

An article from the New York Times by Benedict Carey examines how abusive relationships often begin, underscoring the self-doubt and shame victims frequently feel. The article quotes psychologist Patricia Pape who offers: “It often starts in a very insidious way,”… “He says, ‘Don’t put Sweet-and-Low in your coffee, it’s poisonous.’ “Then, ‘When you wear that [...]

“Healing is not always what I expect. Sometimes it feels revitalizing, other times it seems to bring more hurt. I trust that if I surrender to the process of healing, I will reach a place of neutrality, where my focus is no longer on the pain or even on the healing, but on living my [...]

“It’s human nature for a child to crave their parent’s affection and to want to be seen as special and valuable in their parent’s eyes. For acts of caring and uniqueness and sincerity to be noticed. But from the very beginning, the narcissist parent lacks the ability to do this. Narcissism, as a disease, carries [...]

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