For Psychology Today I wrote a post called Caring the the Parent Who Doesn’t Care for You.

As I am in the middle of writing the third of my ebooks about narcissism and coping with its effects—this one about narcissistic parents—I find myself thinking of the years I worked with older adults and their adult children. As I wrote in that piece I’ve linked above, this remains true:

“A parent’s illness signals a reminder that we are not children anymore—that the wounds we got as kids—inflicted by parents, sometimes intentionally, oftentimes not—are still with us and feel like they define us without our even realizing it.”

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I’m working on a third book about narcissism, this one about narcissistic parents.

But recently, a friend shared this article with me: How to Not Raise a Narcissist. It’s from PBS NewsHour, written by Rebecca Jacobson. It’s about little kids and what parents do to make them narcissists. And it got me thinking about the environmental factors that contribute to creating children with pronounced narcissistic traits. How does overindulgence play a role? How about wounding? The article addresses these juxtaposed causes:

“But why do kids grow up to be narcissists? There are two prevailing — and contradictory — theories, Twenge [prominent researcher/author in the field of study]  from  said. Some say parents who overpraise and emphasize a child’s specialness raise narcissists. Others say it stems from the opposite: kids who are undervalued and treated harshly.”

It’s a fascinating read from the perspective of understanding what can contribute to creating a individual with pronounced narcissism. It also makes me think about what happens as these children grow up and have children of their own. Will they become the parent who wounds their child emotionally, thus creating narcissism of a different etiology from which their own was created?

The end of the article also answers the question: So how do you raise kids with high self-esteem who aren’t narcissists?

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Selfies, Me-ness, and the Big Picture of Narcissism

A long and detailed article called I heart me: Our extreme 24/7 cult of the self in the Mail&Guardian (Narcissism: Surviving the Self-Involved is mentioned) focuses on how social media has fueled a new level of “me-ness.” From the article: “It’s all about Me, where we’ve come to believe everything we say, do and think […]

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Projecting a false image: with social media it’s not just celebrities anymore

I’m more and more of the opinion that people have gotten so “skilled” at projecting a certain image of how they want to see themselves to the public via the web and social media that when it comes down to really doing the work or being who they really are they are often at a […]

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Recovery, maturity, and a life void of players? Boring? Perhaps exactly what you need

Texas journalist Ruth Pennebaker, creator of the award-winning Fabulous Geezer Sisters blog about, in part, living a life void of game playing and false pretenses. She interviewed me about the first 30 days of recovery. About Surviving the Narcissist; 30 Days of Recovery she writes: “…it’s a deceptively simple book on taking care of yourself […]

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Marriage and narcissism: is there a happily ever after?

Award-winning blogger and New York Times best-selling author and journalist Alisa Bowman interviews me about relationships in her post How To Stay Married to a Narcissist on the site Project: Happily Ever After. Her questions include: Assuming you are married to a narcissist, is divorce the only option? and How does someone live with a […]

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A post about how anyone can be a jerk and also that it doesn’t mean you’re a narcissist

Anyone can be a jerk. You don’t have to have a “diagnosis” to be one. Author and journalist Ruth Pennebaker writes about her own revelation in this matter, and how when she revealed her own concern about being not-her-best self, what happened: Read it here: “On not being one of those people.”

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Meditation to begin recovery from the effects of narcissism

Surviving the Narcissist: 30 Days of Recovery–Whether You’re Loving, Leaving, or Living With One is on sale. My newest book includes 30 days of guided meditations to help get you through the crucial first thirty days of recovery from the narcissist. Here is an excerpt from the section titled: A Meditation on Recovery From the […]

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Parsing the meaning of “narcissist” in a way everyone can understand

The term narcissist has become somewhat diluted. We call people narcissists who are rude or pushy, and those who blather on about themselves without asking about anyone else. Sure, they might ultimately be “narcissists” but true narcissistic personality disorder is rare. What’s not rare, however, is the manifestation of narcissistic traits. A critical mass of […]

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Image control and a single question: Will narcissists tell you they are narcissists?

I read the story. I shook my head. Then I nodded. Then I shook my head again. If you ask, will a narcissist tell you he or she is a narcissist? According to a new article in the journal PLOS ONE titled Development and Validation of the Single Item Narcissism Scale (SINS) that is comprised […]

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