One of the best songs that describes the awfulness of loving or being seduced by an n of any kind is Ludo‘s “Love Me Dead.” The video mirrors the insanity so be warned, if you’re in the throes of the n’s wrath (or just awakening to the fact that you are or might be), it might be uncomfortable to watch. In that case, simply listen.

Here’s a sample:

Kill me romantically, fill my soul with vomit
then ask me for a piece of gum.
Bitter and dumb, you’re my sugarplum
you’re awful, I love you…

The lyrics are brilliant, capturing in creatively distilled words the agony and fleeting ecstasy of the illusion the narcissist projects–and how we fall for it, and get kicked by it. The music’s great, too.

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For Psychology Today I wrote a post called Caring the the Parent Who Doesn’t Care for You.

As I am in the middle of writing the third of my ebooks about narcissism and coping with its effects—this one about narcissistic parents—I find myself thinking of the years I worked with older adults and their adult children. As I wrote in that piece I’ve linked above, this remains true:

“A parent’s illness signals a reminder that we are not children anymore—that the wounds we got as kids—inflicted by parents, sometimes intentionally, oftentimes not—are still with us and feel like they define us without our even realizing it.”

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A parent’s fear: raising a little narcissist

I’m working on a third book about narcissism, this one about narcissistic parents. But recently, a friend shared this article with me: How to Not Raise a Narcissist. It’s from PBS NewsHour, written by Rebecca Jacobson. It’s about little kids and what parents do to make them narcissists. And it got me thinking about the […]

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Selfies, Me-ness, and the Big Picture of Narcissism

A long and detailed article called I heart me: Our extreme 24/7 cult of the self in the Mail&Guardian (Narcissism: Surviving the Self-Involved is mentioned) focuses on how social media has fueled a new level of “me-ness.” From the article: “It’s all about Me, where we’ve come to believe everything we say, do and think […]

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Projecting a false image: with social media it’s not just celebrities anymore

I’m more and more of the opinion that people have gotten so “skilled” at projecting a certain image of how they want to see themselves to the public via the web and social media that when it comes down to really doing the work or being who they really are they are often at a […]

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Recovery, maturity, and a life void of players? Boring? Perhaps exactly what you need

Texas journalist Ruth Pennebaker, creator of the award-winning Fabulous Geezer Sisters blog about, in part, living a life void of game playing and false pretenses. She interviewed me about the first 30 days of recovery. About Surviving the Narcissist; 30 Days of Recovery she writes: “…it’s a deceptively simple book on taking care of yourself […]

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Marriage and narcissism: is there a happily ever after?

Award-winning blogger and New York Times best-selling author and journalist Alisa Bowman interviews me about relationships in her post How To Stay Married to a Narcissist on the site Project: Happily Ever After. Her questions include: Assuming you are married to a narcissist, is divorce the only option? and How does someone live with a […]

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A post about how anyone can be a jerk and also that it doesn’t mean you’re a narcissist

Anyone can be a jerk. You don’t have to have a “diagnosis” to be one. Author and journalist Ruth Pennebaker writes about her own revelation in this matter, and how when she revealed her own concern about being not-her-best self, what happened: Read it here: “On not being one of those people.”

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Meditation to begin recovery from the effects of narcissism

Surviving the Narcissist: 30 Days of Recovery–Whether You’re Loving, Leaving, or Living With One is on sale. My newest book includes 30 days of guided meditations to help get you through the crucial first thirty days of recovery from the narcissist. Here is an excerpt from the section titled: A Meditation on Recovery From the […]

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Parsing the meaning of “narcissist” in a way everyone can understand

The term narcissist has become somewhat diluted. We call people narcissists who are rude or pushy, and those who blather on about themselves without asking about anyone else. Sure, they might ultimately be “narcissists” but true narcissistic personality disorder is rare. What’s not rare, however, is the manifestation of narcissistic traits. A critical mass of […]

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